literature

Ms. Marvel: Kamala's Cold Shower

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Literature Text

Word of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was quick to spread through New York City, and many of its resident superheroes had agreed to do it out of goodwill and charity. Most of the mainline Avengers had already taken the challenge, as well as members of lesser teams like the New Warriors and Young Avengers. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before someone got the idea to have Jersey City's newest (and only) local hero undertake it.

"Are you kidding me?" Kamala Khan yelled in the back room, almost to the point where she could be heard from outside the Circle Q. "Bruno Carrelli, with all due respect... ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

"Nope." Bruno shook his head as he worked on moving a crate. "That crazy girl from the Young Avengers who likes to hang with you... Chavez, I think, she texted me about it and said that she had nominated you to do it next."

"And WITHOUT asking me first?!" Kamala crossed her arms in a huff. "Typical Miss 'Meri, always picking on me."

Bruno shrugged. "What can I say? They're your pals, not mine. Besides, pretty much every Avenger's done it by now. Iron Man did it, Thor did it, Captain America did it."

"Captain America was frozen for decades. He's used to it. Me, I can't stand the cold!"

"You did fine fighting that ice-wielding Inhuman a few weeks back."

"I was left with a head-cold that lasted a week, and you remember what it was like for me." The two friends were silent for a moment as the memory of what happens when a shapeshifter sneezes crossed their minds. "Can't I just pledge the money and pass on the bath?"

"Sure," Bruno crossed his arms with a sly smirk. "If you're willing to accept the shame when everybody is talking about how the mighty Ms. Marvel of Jersey City is afraid of a little cold water."

Kamala moaned, groaned, and moaned some more. Finally, she turned and threw her hands up in defeat. "Fine! I'll do it!"

"Good, because word's already spread to everybody's Chirper accounts."

"WHAT?!"

----------

A few days later, the Circle Q had set up a small stage in front of its doors as the Ice Bucket Challenge was set to begin. A simple poster was put up on the window, reading: "ALS ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE! SEE JERSEY'S OWN MS. MARVEL TAKE THE PLUNGE! ANY AND ALL DONATIONS WELCOME!"

"I feel like a sideshow attraction," Kamala muttered from the back room as she laced up her costume's boot.

Bruno brought her her scarf, which she put on. "C'mon, cheer up. Everybody will be pledging good money to see you do this, and it's all going to a good cause."

"Wait, is that Abu out there?" she looked out at the crowd and saw her father near the back. "Geez, it IS! Now I REALLY can't go through with this! If he sees me and my powers screw up, he'd have a heart attack."

"You'll be fine. Just keep yourself focused on staying solid." Bruno handed Kamala her mask. "Now get out there and give them a show."

"Okay..." Kamala put on the mask and walked out the service door, then stretched herself up onto the Circle Q's roof. From her vantage point, she could see that Bruno was already out in the crowd gathering donations. "Here goes."

While the crowd chattered below, the sound of someone landing in front of the Circle Q's doors made them turn. They immediately went silent (save for the sound of cell-phones being set to 'record video') as Ms. Marvel stood before them.

"Hello, everybody. I'm Ms. Marvel... no, the OTHER one." Everybody laughed. "Anyway, as you've no doubt heard by now, I was nominated by someone, who shall remain nameless, to undertake the Ice Bucket Challenge." Kamala turned to the heavens and yelled, "DAMN YOU, AMERICA CHAVEZ!!!" Everybody laughed again. "But just to prove that I'm not a poor sport or a chicken like The Inventor, I have against all sanity agreed to take up the challenge in the name of a good cause. You may start the drumroll."

As Bruno played the recording of the drumroll from his cell-phone, Kamala picked up the ice bucket with both hands and held it over her head as she stretched her arms upward, giving her a good six feet of distance between her head and the bucket. Wincing, she flipped the bucket and sent the cascade of freezing water falling onto her head, drenching herself from head to toe as she screamed in frigid pain. Thankfully for her, she didn't distort her shape out of shock.

The audience applauded as Kamala dripped and shivered, and even her father was clapping. The sound that followed afterwards was everybody's cell-phones snapping pictures and uploading them and their videos to various online community sites. "I *sniff* nominate Monica Rambeau, Wolverine, and Zoe Zimmer. *sniff* Thank you," she finished.

----------

Once the crowds dispersed, Kamala and Bruno were back inside the Circle Q. While Bruno was counting the pledge money and putting it in an envelope, Kamala was sitting on the floor bundled up in a towel and sniffling. "For the love of God, Allah, Buddha, and every other deity I can think of, that was HORRIBLE!" she protested.

"Maybe, but I'm sure Carol would be proud of you for doing this." Bruno replied as he put the filled money envelope in the company safe. "I'll get this sent out in the morning. Just to make sure nobody gets any ideas and robs the joint, I think you should stay here tonight."

"Okay, I'll call Ammi and... and... ahhhh... ahhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... CHOO!" As she sneezed, her arms, legs, and lower torso exploded into noodly tangles of fleshy red-brown-and-blue tentacles. She looked as if she was a deranged mutated octopus who decided to spread out its arms all over the floor. "I'll tell her I'm with Nakia for the night. Kiki'll *sniff* understand."

Bruno tsked. "I hope the security cameras didn't catch that."

"If they did, then I want to say something for posterity." Pulling her wits together, Kamala stretched out a few of her tentacles and gently grabbed Bruno by the waist so she could pull him over. Caressing him, she stretched her neck so that she could look Bruno directly in the face and smiled. "In spite of this, you're still my good friend no matter what."

"Thanks... Ms. Marvel."
Something I wrote on a lark for another site, figuring the concept would be a bit humorous and also worth the cause.

For the sake of the story, I moved the timeframe ahead from where the comic is at now. There's probably going to be references that the non-comic reader won't get, but that's just how it works.

Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan) and all related characters (c) Marvel Comics
© 2014 - 2024 Maetch
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sonicpie1's avatar
Isn't the costume suppose to slime under direct water?